I take it all back.
Today I set out with a heavy heart to ply my yarn. I was sure it was uneven, would be underplied, would break constantly, would look absolutely horrible. I hadn't been really happy with it all along, and I thought plying the yarn would be awful.
But that wasn't the case after all! It was inconsistent, parts were laceweight when plied and parts were a strong worsted weight, but there were few breaks, it was spun nicely if a little inconsistently, and when I was done plying it I found I had made some darn nice yarn, and that makes me happy!
The fat kitty was close by with expert advice:
She's my good luck charm :)