For a number of years, I have been wanting to make this one sweater, Lucy Neatby's "Cables After Whisky". It just seemed really cool, and long-time Yarndemon readers will remember that I have always had kind of a crush on random-number stuff in knitting. Finally, on the knitting cruise last week, I had the perfect opportunity to start it: I had time to knit; I had a huge bag of the perfect-gauge yarn in the perfect color; I had a bottle of very good whisky; and I had a friend who used to knit and drink Scotch with me back when we were younger. I decided to cast on for this sweater one evening on the knitting cruise.
'Cables After Whisky' operates on a simple principle: you knit an oversized, simple-shape sweater and randomly twist cables all over it. It looks like you knit an aran sweater after drinking a bottle of whisky. However, there is a subtle plan: basically, you work a cabled row with several rows of stockinette stitch in between. The cables sort of line up -- sort of. So it isn't totally random. But Lucy Neatby is clever; the teensy bit of organization makes the overall effect much more pleasing and less "bunchy". The fabric drapes better this way.
So the thing is, I started the first cable twist row. What you do on this row is, you randomly choose a number between 0 and 9. Depending on what number you choose, you twist a cable towards the back, twist a cable towards the front, knit the stitches plain, or choose another number (the equivalent of "roll again!" in a board game). I'm not too good at just thinking of random numbers, so I and my little group of scotch drinkers thought it would be fun if I just yelled out "Pick a number!" and they'd take turns shouting out numbers and I'd work across the row. And, that was fun for about 60 stitches. Then it was kind of lame. We couldn't have a conversation during that row, because the number of stitches each twist is worked over is relatively small, so people had to keep giving me numbers frequently. So I put it away for the night, halfway across the row. We finished the bottle of Scotch.
Next day, I decided to use the two pages of random numbers that came with the pattern -- a very good help! But you know how lazy I am. I had to keep looking at the page, finding my place, then translating what the number meant. For example, if it is "4", that means twist the cable to the front. It was still pretty slow, finding the number and figuring out what it meant. Plus, we were sailing, and the wind threatened to blow my random numbers overboard. So I put it away, but I knew what I needed to do to make these cable rows all sweetness and light.
My husband is a carpenter, and when he needs to do a repetitive task, he often makes a "jig", a tool or contraption that helps hold stuff in a certain way to make the work easier. I needed to make a knitting "jig" to spit out what to do on that cable row, something that I could just click on and it would say "Cable Back", "Cable Front", "Knit 4" or "Click Again!".
I am too lazy and stupid to learn how to program in C++ or Java (Although I did try to teach myself to program in Java a few years ago -- I needed a teacher who knew how to do it already, unfortunately; I was teaching myself, so my teacher was kind of an idiot about stuff). So I rely on Runtime Revolution's "Media" to create software when I need it, because it uses the same hypertext language I used to program in HyperCard, back when HyperCard existed. I made a little "stack" (that's what the programs are called, "stacks"; I could explain why but do you really care? I thought not) which solved all my problems. Now, when I get to the cable row, I set my laptop next to me, and all I have to do is click the mouse button, and the computer tells me to cable front or back, or knit on, or click again. Problem solved! Here's a screenshot of what it looks like -- it's VERY SIMPLE:

This Media software is really super. You can use it on any computer platform, including Linux, and it only costs about $50. You can use it to do tons of stuff, from creating demos, displays, adventure games, and simple software. It's very easy to use. For example, in my little jig for Cables After Whisky, I have one "card" with a "field" and a "button". The card is just the background that everything sits on. The field is a box which will display text. The button is the thing you click on to make stuff happen; I made the button large and invisible, so you just click wherever you want, no hunting for little buttons is required. The button has a "script" which you write, and the script is what tells the button what to do. Here is the script I wrote for my jig (do not be afraid, it is not as scary as it looks):
on mouseUp
put random(10) into it
if it = 1 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "B" into field 1
end if
if it = 2 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "B" into field 1
end if
if it = 3 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "F" into field 1
end if
if it = 4 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "F" into field 1
end if
if it = 5 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Click Again" into field 1
end if
if it = 6 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Click Again" into field 1
end if
if it = 7 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Knit 4" into field 1
end if
if it = 8 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Knit 4" into field 1
end if
if it = 9 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Knit 4" into field 1
end if
if it = 10 then
put empty into field 1
wait 4
put "Knit 4" into field 1
end if
end mouseUp
Notice how all the words are in English? no funny characters? no jargon? It's very simple. The oddest term is "mouseUp" -- that just means "click" -- as in, when the mouse button is released and goes back *up*. There is also "put random(10) into it". That just says to the computer, pick a number at random between 1 and 10, and then take the number you picked and put it in a holder called "it". Clever, eh? It's much quicker to say "put random(10) into it". The rest of the script is all "if the number you picked is such-and-such, then put what I'm supposed to do with the next few stitches into the field so I can read it and knit it, assuming I have not drunk too much whiskey!" The part that says "put empty into field 1" & "wait 4" tells it to blank the screen and then wait a second before putting the new thing in the box; that kind of makes it blink when I click. That way, if there are several of the same direction in a row, I'll know it isn't just stuck, that it really is choosing again.
Computer programming. It's not so hard, with Media. And there are tons of tutorials to teach you how to use it, too, built into the program, and more are downloadable from the RunRev website. Ya gots to love technology!
Anyone can run the program if they have the RunRev Media Player. If anyone out there wants to knit Cables After Whisky and wants to get a copy of my cable-row jig, just email me and I'll point you to where you can download the jig and the Media Player on yarndemon.com .
Now if there were only a way to write a Media stack that would open the door for the cats when they meooooow......